Requirement

Its hard to believe almost a year has passed since I really took the time to sit down and write.

Part of it was intentional. Sometimes we need to purposefully take the time to just be. To listen to what God and those around us have to say.

Part of it was very much unintentional, but good all the same :) Take this little one for instance. Boy does she keep me on my toes!

Baby K isn't such a baby anymore! I have learned so much from this little one. She really has made me appreciate children. Of course I did before, but she has helped me learn that it is okay to let kids be kids, and not expect so much from them.

This truly is how God is with me. He is very patient with me, His child. It is taking me a long time to get some of the basic things of this life. Yet He still loves me. He still carries me. He still gently feeds me, and doesn't require anything more than He, well, requires of me.

Micah 6:8 says, "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

I can provide you a list a mile long of everything I THINK God requires of me. But often, I would even say mostly, it is just legalism. As I get older, I'm realizing that what God requires of me is pretty simple. Just like what I require of my kids, is pretty simple and basic.

Leave it to me to make it more difficult than it has to be! This reminds me of my oldest son.

So often, I will give Little O a simple assignment. As he begins, I can see him getting weary, frustrated, or angry. Take writing for example. Nearly every school day, I ask him to write a few sentences or paragraphs. As he begins, I can see him giving up before he even writes a few words! As he talks to me, I can see he is frustrated because he is worrying about the fact he can't write a book, never mind a few sentences. But if he stopped, and really paid attention to what I required, it wasn't to write a book. It was to write a few sentences.

This is how I am with God. He asks me to do things not requiring me to do it alone, or to do it perfectly. Yet as a perfectionist, that is what I concentrate on. Not trying to do the simple things, but trying to be perfect on the whole. Like my son, I get weary, frustrated and angry.

Its not very often that I give Little O or my other kids hard tasks. They may think so, but I know what they can handle! I'm their Mama, and know them better than they know them self. Remind you of anything God's Word says about us?

On Sunday, our Pastor gave a great sermon from Hebrews, where it talks about believers who have been feeding on the "milk" of the Word.

The verse that stuck out to me the most was the following:

Hebrews 5:12 "In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food!"

There have been many times in my life, where I realize I have gone so far off track, that I need to return to the elementary truths of God's Word again.

It hit me this spring, that we had to do that with our son C with bike riding. We decided to be bold, and just start this year with the training wheels off. He became so fearful, and didn't remember the elementary concept of PEDALING when it comes to biking, that he just froze and didn't go anywhere.

I realized that for him, the best thing would be to put the training wheels back on. Go back to the basics of bike riding, and let him get strong in that before moving on to the next step.

I just love how our simple, every day life that we take for granted, really can be life pictures for us of truths in God's Word. For me, it really helps me understand better.

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I read a wonderful quote somewhere, and I wish I wrote who said this, so I could give proper credit. All I can do is make sure everyone knows, it wasn't me :)

"My children are not a distraction from my work.

My children ARE my work."

Often I get so task oriented that I bulldoze over my kids. I want them to hurry up and get their homeschooling done; hurry up and eat; hurry up and get to bed. I want to move on to what I want to do.

I'm so far from getting this to a point where it is comfortable, natural, and just part of who I am. So please don't look to learn from me, but learn along with me. I realize each day how important it is to teach my little ones and go about my day with them by my side. Having a perfectly clean and organized house, having a well-planned menu, etc. is all for nought if I am pushing my dear children to the side in the process. If I can go about these things with the above in mind, that they are my life's work-it may not be easy-but it is what I know God has called me to do.

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A week ago, I had one of those smack-me-in-the-head "aha" moments. I wanted to cry when I heard the words coming from my daughter M's mouth.

She loves being a princess. In her mind, she doesn't pretend to be a princess. She is a princess. M got a boo-boo on her face, and all she did for two days was talk about how "weird" and "yucky" she looked :(

I thought I had been so careful to not let her hear what my mind thinks every day - "I'm so fat" or "I'm so ugly." I know it can influence my daughters (and sons for that matter), and have been very intentional about not letting those thoughts become words.

Yet, apparently my mind wasn't so hidden after all. I know my daughter hasn't watched any TV that would lead her to think this; we homeschool, so I know she isn't being overly influenced by others (I don't think - although we homeschool, we are not the hermit type).

I think its just a bit of me being carried down to her. It made me so sad. It also made me realize that while it is important to intentionally not let these things come out of my mouth, it is equally important to be intentional about believing that I too, am fearfully and wonderfully made, as I made sure my little princess knew that day.

Again, I like to look at the real life application for me:

Just like M is my beautiful child, and it hurt me to hear her say those negative things about herself; I am God's beautiful child, and it hurts Him too.....

....And so are you :)

An Exciting New Adventure!

Mom and Daughter Reading

I am so excited to share the news about our exciting new adventure! (and please bear with me as I try to make sense of some very choppy thoughts!)

Starting in the fall, we will be homeschooling our children! We are very excited, and admittedly a little nervous, but we know beyond a shadow of a doubt this is what the Lord would have for us. Is it for everybody? No. Is it for all of our children? Maybe not, we will take it month by month and year by year. But for the Fall of 2009, yes, it is for all our children.

Our homeschooling journey begins four years ago. When I enrolled our oldest son into a Christian school's Pre-K program - I had pits in my stomach, that honestly have never gone away all these years! I cried from that spring to that fall when he started, and have continued to do so many Sunday nights, or as vacations near the end, etc. When parents have been happily sending their children off to school, loving the program, I never did, even though every place he (and now our second son) has been have truly been wonderful!

I can't say that I prayed every day about it, but this is one area I have prayed heavily, and talked often with my husband about. He has never been opposed to the idea, but I kid, that being the engineer that he is (planner in other words, and very methodical), this couldn't be a decision that we made on a whim. And he was 100% right, as he so often is :)

Part of the journey is the fact that I CANNOT escape homeschoolers! Seriously, God has placed so many homeschooling families in our path, that it was hard to ignore! Many of the families I have met at the pool in the summer are homeschoolers, my midwife was a homeschooler, and on and on and on. I have met so many, and every time I do, I just chuckle and say to myself "of course you are!"

There are so many other details, that sadly I never wrote down and don't remember specifics, but thankfully my mind remembers recent things so-so! And that is what I will share with you now, a recent example of how clear God answered my prayers about this!

One night a few months ago, my husband kind of out of the blue said he wanted to homeschool. I really couldn't believe it! This is what I had prayed for for four years! You would think I would be doing cartwheels and going full speed right? Nope! Can you believe DOUBT quickly entered my life! I was seriously rethinking everything. So, I prayed and said, "God, please give me peace about this! Please show me in some way something that will give me peace."

The next day I had to run to Aldi and Walmart. At Walmart, I ran into a woman from church who I attend(ed) MOPS with (when I get a chance to go that is. I haven't been to MOPS in so long, and not much at all this year really - maybe 3 times?). She was saying how she missed everyone, and kind of felt out of the loop of what was going on. I assured her she wasn't the only one as I wasn't able to attend because of sickness, new baby, or just having other commitments. I asked why she wasn't able to go, and she said, "well, we started homeschooling this year." I did the chuckle thing (see above), and then quickly remembered my prayer. "Could this be it God?" Maybe, but I rationalized that it wasn't too uncommon for me to meet homeschoolers (see above again!), and I kind of swept the thought aside.

At Aldi, I was really pushing the noon hour. You know, where the kids are starving, but you keep trying to do one more thing because you do NOT want to run out again? Yeah, that was us and you can imagine, the kids were getting a bit fussy. My 4 year old son was pushing the limits, while my daughter was just dripping goo from her nose. I was so concentrated on getting things done quick, and trying to keep my 4 year old in line, that I really wasn't paying attention to my daughter's nose! Ick, I know. Anyway, a dear woman touched my shoulder gently and said, "I just wanted to tell you before I did this, but I am going to wipe your daughter's nose." I felt embarrassed, and tried to insist she didn't have to do that! "Oh no, I don't mind, believe me, I've been there done that!" and we proceeded to talk about allergies, asthma and things like that. She went on to say how she missed the baby/toddler years, and how quickly it goes. She pointed to her boy that was with her and said that was her baby (he looked to be about the age of my oldest). I asked if he was home sick today, because he was definitely school age, to which she said "well no, we homeschool."

Okay, two homeschooling families in a half hour span? God, I get it! Thank You! The peace came quickly back as fast as it left, and I was (am) so thankful!

Well before I end, I also want to share one last answer to prayer. I have met a wonderful friend, who also homeschools, and we have children almost identical in age - and mostly the same genders are matched! She is loaning me all of the second grade curriculum that I need for my oldest! God is using her to really help me get this started, to see the reality of things (because, hey, I have had a pretty rosy picture in my mind!), and to just encourage me. What a blessing!

So there it is. Our new adventure! I'm sure you will be reading much more as the weeks go by!

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MY Personal New Exciting Adventure

Runners in Fog at Sunrise, Seattle, WA

Well, if the picture didn't give it away, I have started running! Thanks to my friend Kristina, I am on week two of the Couch to 5 K program. She too is a busy mom of four children, and she has been an inspiration to me! You can read her story on her blog. Tomorrow she is running her second 5K!

For the first time in my life, I really believe I will see this through, and even have hopes to run a 5K in the fall! I'll be honest, it feels really good to have this goal in mind, and to be working toward something that also has health benefits.

I do have a goal of losing weight, of course, but for once, that is a secondary goal. It feels nice to not be so desperate about losing weight. The fact is, if I eat the right things, don't eat like a pig, and exercise, the natural byproduct of that is LOSING WEIGHT. So my goals and focus are on those things, and not on the number on the scale.

I was saying to my other friend who also runs (I mean RUNS - she's serious business about it! Oh, she is the one who is loaning me the curriculum by the way), that its so funny how before I was a mom, which would put me in my mid-20s, thinking of exercising for 20 minutes felt like torture - I couldn't stop looking at the clock, and often would quit at 15 minutes, thinking, hey its better than nothing! It felt like an eternity! Well now, 25 minutes goes like *that*, and I find myself wanting to go for more! But, I'm listening to my friends who have encouraged me to just go at the pace the program suggests, and to not over do it. I tell ya though, now that I am in my mid-30s, like everything else, the time running goes FAST :)

Tomorrow I finish up my 2nd week, and am looking forward to starting Week 3 on Monday!

Oh, and another cool thing is happening, my very fit, athletically-minded husband, is LOVING this. He's such a gem, and really encouraging me too!

Thanks for letting me share about my new adventures. Life is never expected is it? And I'm oh so glad!

Have a GREAT weekend!

Jen

A Beautiful Life (In Pictures)

First things first, let's see some baby deliciousness :)

We got a new camera, and it takes great pictures! Can you believe Baby K is nearly 5 months! sniff, sniff. It goes quicker with each baby!

She was hungry and couldn't keep her eyes off the flag flapping in the breeze outside the window.

I LOVE this smile - she crinkles her nose. Babies are great!

Hi Mama! Let me touch that camera!

That flag!

See that nice clean carpet? Thanks Dad for shampooing it for us! He also painted this room this week. What a Dad! If you think of it, please say a prayer for him - he lost his job several weeks ago now, and there is just not much out there for work.

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Alright, now to big kid fun (with some baby pictures mixed in here and there :) ). I love having bigger kids. They are so fun! They are so gentle with the baby, and boy does she love her big brothers and sister! They are really cool you know :)

Loving his first pony ride!

Not loving her first pony ride! Well she loved the idea, but she has a fear of heights - I'm thinking this is a thing you are born with. Nothing has ever happened that should cause her to be afraid - hmmm, I dunno. I don't like heights either, maybe its genetic?

How about some pictures around our home? Isn't God awesome? I mean He creates such beautiful things? Children, sunrises.....

...baby birds......

....beautiful flowers.......things to make you crack up!....

And, no I didn't forget about my oldest son. He is turning into quite the shy young man! I have to sneak up on him to get pictures!

Or take them when he's not looking!

Not everyone is camera shy in this family though!

May you find beauty in the simple things as this summer "unofficially" begins this weekend.

God is so good.

Thank You Father for giving me a truly beautiful life!

God bless!

Jen

Everyday People

photobucket.com

Everyday People

by me

You both touched my heart today.
Your jailhouse tattoos, telling of a different life.
Your weathered face, your unkempt clothes.
You both work so hard.

As I went through the drive-thru
And unloaded my van.
You treated me like royalty.
You both were so kind.

I wonder about your lives.
Why did you get those tattoos?
Why do you collect these cans?
I can see you're tired, weary too.

I get so comfortable in this life of mine.
I’m eating roast tonight.
Everyday food for me.
A feast for everyday people.

But I’m no different from you! Can't you see!
I had jailhouse tattoos on my heart!
My life, like yours, has been weathered.
The path I’ve traveled, unkempt.

But the God above loves us all.
Not me more than you!
He has erased my tattoos!
He gives rest to my tired and weary soul.

I’ve cried and smiled a lot today
As I think of you.
You reminded me of God’s love, and that
We’re all beautiful - His everyday people.

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This poem I wrote tells of two people I met today. One was a man at the McDonalds drive-thru, and the other was a lady (actually I've met her before), who collects cans around the area.

The young man at McDonalds has obviously lived a hard life. He had jailhouse tattoos not hidden well under his uniform, although he was trying real hard. I'm not sure of his life, I can only imagine, but it seemed obvious that he never was brought up by parents who taught him basic manners. It wasn't that he was rude. No, it was exactly opposite. I don't know if I can explain with words, but he was working so hard to do the right thing with his words and manners. He treated me like I was *up here* and he *down there*. I imagine a lot of people have treated him like that in his life though. That saddens me.

In our area, an elderly woman rides her bike, like a postman - in rain, sleet or snow, collecting cans to return for the deposit. I've seen her digging in trashes and combing the woods - always with a smile on her face. She works so hard. Her clothes are disheveled and her face and hands rough. She isn't homeless though, but I imagine most people think she is. I also bet most people have never taken the time to talk to her to find that out though. That saddens me too. Today she offered to help me unload my car as she was taking our cans. She could easily be my grandmother - and she was offering to help me! I told her I wish I could help her more. "Oh, I'm fine dear" she said. I could tell she really just enjoyed a conversation with me, as I did with her.

You know, sometimes I get very (light years) removed from reality. I am like the Pharisees in the Bible, only associating with the religious elite, and shaking my head at the sinners in a righteous fashion. As I get to know Jesus though, I see how wrong that is! Jesus ate with sinners, he spoke and loved the adulteress. I don't want to be a Pharisee - I want to be like Jesus!

I hope in some little way, I was more like Jesus today. I want my kids to grow up, learning to love, accept, and get their hands a little messy with the beautiful people that our society turns their heads to. Whether its the poor, the battered, the mentally challenged, the elderly, or simply the not-so-perfect white-collared Christian - I want my kids to have an open heart to them.

And today I'm learning - they will only learn that from me.

A Baby Changes Everything

Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah!

My whole life has turned around

I was lost, but now I'm found

A baby changes everything

A baby changes everything

Philippians 4:19

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Isn't God's timing perfect? As we go through the midst of life, its hard to see that at times. But the more one grows in Christ, the more one sees, and believes, and has faith, that God's timing is indeed always perfect.

Without going into the nitty gritty of things, on Monday evening, my husband's employer gave him some pretty hard news. Let's just say they are cutting his salary by over $1,000/month! (no that is not a typo - one-thousand dollars). His first reaction, my first reaction, was to be afraid, very afraid, and to quite honestly go hide under a rock after throwing up. "There is no way we can do this" we thought. "McDonald's won't even hire me - I'm 37 weeks pregnant! What are we going to do!" It was difficult indeed to continue on with life that evening, but kids have a wonderful way of making you have to.

We prayed. What else could we do, what else should we do. The Lord gave us, and continues to give us, His peace that surpasses all understanding. Immediately we could see the many, many blessings. Blessings given to us only by a loving Father. We were, we are, very thankful indeed, and know, know, God will take care of us, and yes, supply all of our needs.

I'm not sure I've shared, but our firstborn was having a very rough time at school. It sure broke this Mama's heart, as well as his Dad's. It boiled down to him wanting to be home with me. Although we always pray about what the Lord desires for us with regard to schooling, as of now, this is where he will be. So, two of the things that we've done to help him at school, was to have Daddy bring him to the bus, and for him to wear Mommy's watch to school. Tuesday morning, the morning after the tough news explained above was given to my husband, everything that could have gone wrong, did go wrong. Daddy had an early appointment and wasn't home, Mommy was sick, and the watch, we couldn't find it anywhere. My stomach soured, "how will he make it through school without the watch?", I worried so much about my son's day before it even began. I prayed, and I'd like to give you a glimpse of the conversation I had with my son that morning.

Me: "Buddy I can't find Mommy's watch for you to wear today."

O: "It's okay." (I could see a bit of worry for a second).

Me: "Mommy is also sick today and Daddy had a meeting, so you will have to go to the bus with Ms. Gail."

O: "It's okay." (Again, I could see a bit of worry for a second).

Me: "But Buddy, I want to explain something. You know it wasn't the watch, and it wasn't even Daddy or Mommy standing at the bus for you that helped you not have a hard time at school. Do you know that? It was God. We pray many times a day, every day, and God is the one giving you help. Did you see Daddy and Mommy crying last night?"

O: "Yes."

Me: "Well, Daddy's work isn't going to be paying him as much money, and we got really scared because the food we eat, the lights we put on, and other things, cost money. But we realized that it isn't that money that provides these things for our family, just like it isn't Mommy's watch that helps you. Do you understand what I'm saying, Son?"

O: "Yes! It is God who helps us!"

Me: "Yes!"

Honestly I began to bawl. In his childlike faith, which God says we should all have, my son got it. You see, I prayed hard for a way to make my son feel better before he left for school that morning. I prayed for the right words to say, and God once again helped me. Without me even realizing what was coming from my mouth, God alone gave me the above words. It helped my son realize Who his help comes from, and it helped us realize the same. Praise and glory be to God.

So, now you are wondering, how on earth is God's timing perfect in this? Well, there are many things, things I'll share probably after our new little blessing is born, but see the note pictured above? I'm not sure when my oldest wrote that, but I can say it was in a big pile of long overdue papers to be sorted through. It was as if God had it sitting there just for this time. Obviously when I stuck it in that pile, I didn't give it a second thought, but last night as I was sorting through that paper pile, I can tell you, I felt like I was hugged by God.

Thank you God. Thank you for sending your Son to be born. As we celebrate His birthday, help me to be ever mindful of Your deep, deep love for us. For me.

Have a blessed CHRISTmas.

Jen

Hair Cuts, Baking and Voting

are on my agenda today. The haircuts are done (you can look at my last post for before pictures):

I finally conceded that our daughter needs bangs, and boy I don't regret it! She looks absolutely darling to me! The thing is, her hair is so pin-straight, that it just goes forward. Any attempts to brush it to the side, and tuck behind her ear, doesn't last long (not even a minute, seriously). "Pretties" (barrettes or clips) eventually end up on the floor, because her hair is also so thin that they don't stay in well. As its drying, it definitely has that "shocked" look, but I will put a little lotion or something in as it dries to calm it down a bit.

I always used to cut the boys hair. However, at times, I justify paying someone else to do it (at a tune of $12-15 before tip!) because of the tiredness of pregnancy or whatever. But I'd continually be disappointed, knowing I could do an equal job for free. I'm glad I cut it this time - and I admit, its always a good test for my patience, and I saved at least $52 (I averaged it out and then added tip to the end).

I am always amazed how instantly older my children look after a haircut.

I also have baking on the agenda today. I have read, in less than a week, all three volumes of The Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyn. GREAT books. The money saving tips are amazing and so do-able. One of her strategies that she used for her family was making a batch of Betty Crocker's Refrigerated Dough (which lasts in the refrigerator for 5 days), and taking dough out as needed to bake. Since I love making bread (I went back to making it over the weekend), I'm really looking forward to this.

And of course, did you know today is election day? LOL! Yeah, its pretty hard to forget this time. Each presidential election year seems to get more crazy, and starts earlier and earlier. As our Pastor jokingly said on Sunday, "On Wednesday we'll have about 6-8 hours of peace before the candidating starts for 2012." Isn't that the truth? Today, I received a call from Rudy Giuliani, and I'm sure President Bush or the First Lady will be the next to call ;)

I'd like to share with you some tidbits from Sunday's sermon, as it is so important for us to remember today. (I am summarizing here, and these are not points that he wrote specifically).

Our Pastor preached from the first few verses of Romans 13. In it, it says that every soul is to be subject (obey and submit) to the government, which whether you agree with it or not, is ordained by God. Of course Daniel is an example when it is okay to not obey and submit to government (when the government is asking you to sin against God).

Our Pastor, like me, grew up in what he called the "evangelical bubble." He made some observations from that bubble, and because, as I said, I too grew up in that same bubble (I'm not saying its wrong!), I couldn't agree more, and was comforted by his words.

1. THE CHURCH AND THE UNITED STATES ARE NOT ONE! They should be separate as the ends are VERY different. Because the U.S. has roots founded on Biblical principles, often we think the U.S. is the church. Not so! Not so.

2. THE CHURCH WILL STILL PREVAIL NO MATTER WHO IS ELECTED. Remember, as it says in Romans, "there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God." This is true even if the President doesn't believe in God or His Word.

3. WHOEVER IS IN THE WHITE HOUSE WILL NOT HOLD OFF OR BRING QUICKER THE JUDGMENT OF GOD. God's judgment is coming at HIS (God's) appointed time.

4. GOD'S PURPOSE FOR MANKIND IS BIGGER THAN GOVERNMENT.

5. TO PUT MY TRUST IN GOVERNMENT FOR MY LIFE'S SUSTENANCE, EVEN FREEDOM, IS FALSE IDOLATRY. Our trust for these things should be in God ALONE.

6. Lastly, the right and privilege to vote today, is precious, and we should not take it for granted. High prices were paid for that right. Ironically, it seems the people who chose not to vote for their reasons, are the loudest to complain.

Trust in God today. Don't be afraid. I've heard so many people say they are afraid if so and so is elected in office today (I've heard it said of both candidates). Nothing will happen today that isn't ordained by God. Seriously, the Bible tells us so. So take comfort.

So on that NOT light note, I'll leave you with a nice picture :)

Kids always have a way of bringing peace to an otherwise worrisome situation :)

"Whenever I am Afraid....

Red Riding Hood
by Jessie Wilcox-Smith

I will trust in You. I will trust in You. Let the weak say I am strong....."

This is a song I learned as a child. As I approach my last few months of pregnancy, and the braxton-hicks become stronger, my mind rushes forward (and back) to my FEAR OF LABOR.

My first son was 2 weeks late, and I was induced. I didn't really pay attention during child-birth classes, I don't know why, as if I'd done this before!?! Maybe I thought it would all come naturally to me and my husband. After a while when the contractions came and I had the first bit of discomfort, I was completely unprepared and begged for an epidural (at 2 cm mind you!) Thankfully, my body responds very well with an epidural, and labor does not slow down at all for me. My beautiful, healthy first born son was born about 8 hours after I began labor (pay attention to these times as I continue my story).

We did not have a digital camera when he was born, so today I took a picture of a picture.

I went into labor with my second son on his due date! What a blessing after being 2 weeks late with my first. Back up a little bit....that morning, I was having irregular contractions, and because a snow storm was coming that day, my doctor wanted to see me in case and before the roads became dangerous to drive. They monitored me, and said my son wasn't responding as well as they'd like (however, he seemed no different that day than any other. Looking back, I think he was fine.). Regardless, they sent me to the hospital to be induced again. As I waited there, I went into labor on my own. With my second born son, I had been 4 cm for a few weeks without pain. However, because I loved the epidural so much with my first, I didn't bother preparing while pregnant, and once the pain started, I again became afraid, and begged for an epidural. My healthy second born son was born about 6 hours after I began labor.

Going into labor with my daughter was fast and furious. I had not felt well all day, but with two busy boys (one being only 17 months), I did not have much time to think about it (I much prefer it this way, by the way!). When my husband came home from work that evening, I asked if he wouldn't mind taking the boys out to pizza as I needed to lay down with quiet. My husband wasn't even gone an hour when I realized I was in labor! In the 10-15 minutes that I called him to come home, and when he was actually home, I had to pace and stop and breathe through these difficult and painful contractions. We quickly loaded the boys in the car, grabbed their bags and ours, and drove to my friend's home who was to graciously watch our boys while I had the baby. Thankfully she lived 2 minutes from the hospital, and only about 15 minutes from our home. Well in this relatively short amount of time, the contractions were the most painful I'd ever felt, and, once again, I was terrified, and unprepared. My water broke at my friends' home, and the contractions were intense. From my friends' home to the hospital was a blur. I remember being whisked up in a wheelchair, and the first nurse I saw, I pleaded for an epidural. Again, because the epidurals worked fine for me with the boys, and because labor and delivery was still quick with them, I planned for it to go the same way with my daughter. I did not prepare or pray about labor for my daughter while I was pregnant with her. My healthy daughter was born 4 hours after I began labor.

Funny thing is the date on our camera was wrong, as she was not born on this day!

Do you see a pattern here? Yes, with each labor, I a. was not prepared, in anyway; and b. my labors became progressively shorter! If I continue in this same pattern, this baby will be born in 2 hours!

All throughout this pregnancy, I have felt a great urgency to be prepared and to bathe it in prayer. I have read and watched a DVD on breathing and relaxation techniques for labor and birth. I feel like a first-time mom! I have been under the care of a midwife this time rather than a doctor. What a difference, a positive one that I will write about another time.

Most importantly, I am understanding that what better of a time than this to truly lean on God and hand over to Him all my fears and worries? This morning, the Lord laid on my heart to memorize some Scripture to meditate on during the remainder of my pregnancy and labor and delivery. Here are the verses He lead me to, and which I will be memorizing these last two months:

Genesis 15:1 - "...the word of the Lord came...saying 'Fear not, Abram: I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward."

Genesis 26:24 - "...I am the God of Abraham thy father: fear not, for I am with thee, and will bless thee..."

II Timothy 1:7 - "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

Hebrews 13:5 - "...I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."

I John 4:18 - "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear..."

Psalm 23 - "The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

Contrary to what some books have been telling me, I do not think I am a super, wonder woman whose body has spiritual powers to naturally get me through labor (its hard to weed through that when much of the child birth books are written by new-age, hippy people :) ). However, I do believe in a super, wonder GOD Who loves me, and Who loves this little girl growing inside me, more than either of us will ever imagine; and that He is more than able to sustain me, and give me strength and peace to deliver this baby.

I live in the north, it is entirely possible that we could get a whopper of a storm in January, when my little girl is due to be born. It could take me 2 hours just to get to the hospital which is only 20 minutes away (although my husband lovingly reassures me it won't take us that long no matter how bad the storm :) ) I must be prepared with Scripture in mind. I cannot rely on myself to do this, but must rely completely on God. What if I arrive at the hospital only in time to push? What if I don't make it all? Either way, I cannot be paralyzed by my fear, when what I am doing is something designed by God to bring His children in the world.

Philippians 4:13

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

I hope you have a blessed weekend with your family, one that has Christ in the center. That is my prayer for my family this weekend.

Before I end, I do want to say a special, from the bottom of my heart, thank you to my wonderful and amazing husband and children. With this large belly, it is very difficult to pick up things from the floor. They lovingly pick up things I've dropped, or anything that needs to be cleaned up from the floor. What love :)