Wednesday, March 28, 2007

You must read this article

I read these articles last night, and it challenged me right to the core of my being. I think as a parent you MUST read these articles![tt_news]=268&tx_ttnews[backPID]=7&cHash=0dc37b5988[tt_news]=271&tx_ttnews[backPID]=7&cHash=ec4a94aa47 One of the many things said in this second article that hit me over the head was: "There is a twofold secret to making boundaries (absolutes) work. First, you have to stick to your word. You cannot have a “sometimes I am a good mama and sometimes I lie on the couch and just don’t care” attitude. The second rule, which is just as important, is to have some things that are totally exciting to play with that are always available to the child. They need to be given a tape dispenser if you are working with tape. They need to feel like they are doing something that in some way reflects what you are doing. Gracie needs her pots and pans drawer in the kitchen, so when I get my pans out and start cooking, she can go to her work drawer and start to play cooking. When I go into my office to open envelopes, she goes to her box and opens junk mail. When I write notes, she writes in her little notebook. Her life is not made up of plastic toys that have no meaning. Her life is made up of things that she can do that relate to what I am doing."
I have my good days where I would consider myself a "good mama", but it is not constant, and unfortunately not a week goes by where I don't have a day or two or three, where I am that "lie on the couch and just don't care" mama. Also, it occurred to me, how much of my day is spent trying to push my children off to go play away from me in their playroom (with those "plastic toys that have no meaning"), so I can get my things done, when all the while they just want to be with me. I CAN STILL GET MY THINGS DONE WITH THEM BY MY SIDE. I SIMPLY MUST INCLUDE THEM IN MY ROUTINE. This isn't easy, it takes longer, and it will not get done in my "perfect" way (which by the way is so NOT perfect), but the life lessons they will learn from helping me work, and the precious time being spent together is what matters. It breaks my heart to think how often I push my kids away. Sigh. I must meditate on this for a while. Amazing information.....



Stay, stay at home, my heart, and rest;
Home-keeping hearts are happiest,
For those that wander they know not where
Are full of trouble and full of care;
To stay at home is best.

Weary and homesick and distressed,
They wander east, they wander west,
And are baffled and beaten and blown about
By the winds of the wilderness of doubt;
To stay at home is best.

Then stay at home, my heart, and rest;
The bird is safest in its nest;
O'er all that flutter their wings and fly
A hawk is hovering in the sky;
To stay at home is best.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow